


Sweater

by OkayKaylyn



Series: Crush Drabbles [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-16 18:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/865023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OkayKaylyn/pseuds/OkayKaylyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't really blame you for being dead but you can't have your sweater back."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweater

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm gonna try this thing where I take quotes from the book Crush by Richard Siken and write drabbles (loosely) based off of them. The drabbles are non-related unless otherwise specified. Also in this drabble Svetlana and Mickey are divorced.

It was only a few months ago that Mandy had stumbled into Mickey's room, drunk off her ass and sobbing about a road side bomb that killed Ian. But to Mickey it felt like years.

He didn't go to the funeral, didn't see a point. There was no body, and the only people who knew about him and Ian were Mandy and Lip. No one else would understand why he was there, it's not like they were friends. Plus he didn't own a suit.

For weeks after the funeral Mandy tried to get him to show emotion "Come on Mick!" she'd plead with tears in her eyes "Cry, scream, fight, _do something! _" And when he'd just stare at her blankly, or maybe offer a weak smile, she'd throw her hands up and stomp out of the room.__

__He didn't see a point in freaking out either. When Mandy had finally calmed down enough to tell him what had happened, he listened, nodded occasionally, and when she was done he left her crying in his room while he went to The Alibi Room and drank until he couldn't see straight._ _

__That was enough for him._ _

__But Mandy persisted "It's not healthy, Mickey! Bottling your emotions up like this! I don't care if you won't talk to me about it, I know you loved Ian and you can't just ignore it!" but he wasn't ignoring it, he wan't bottling up. He'd dealt with it the only way he knew how._ _

__He didn't start drinking, at least not more than he did before Ian left for the army. He didn't do any hard drugs, except occasionally coke with his buyers. And he didn't fight more than was necessary._ _

__He was angry at first, yeah. Angry at Ian for fucking off to the army. Angry at himself for not stopping him. Angry at his dad for starting this whole mess in the first place._ _

__But eventually he let go of that anger. Ian believed he had no choice but to leave. Mickey didn't have the words to keep Ian from leaving. And his dad was in prison for god knows how long this time._ _

__It wasn't anyone's fault, really._ _

__\------_ _

__"I don't understand it, Mick" Mandy declares as she walks into his room "You freak the fuck out over the littlest things, but the guy you love _dies _and nothing." She shrugs her shoulders and stares at Mickey until he responds.___ _

____"It's been months, Mandy. I'm over it" he tells her with a shoulder shrug of his own._ _ _ _

____"But that's the thing!" she starts yelling "You're not 'over it' because you never dealt with it in the the first place!" when Mickey just shrugs in response Mandy screams exasperatedly and storms out of his room, slamming his door shut behind her._ _ _ _

____But what Mandy didn't know is that Mickey had 'dealt with it', and continued to 'deal with it' every night._ _ _ _

____Once he felt tired enough to go to sleep he turned off his lights and crawled into bed. He breathed in and out deeply before reaching under his pillow and pulling out the sweater he had hidden there._ _ _ _

____Ian's sweater._ _ _ _

____He had left it there when things were still good between them and Mickey never returned it._ _ _ _

____Mickey had no intentions of ever returning it. Back then or now._ _ _ _

____It still smelled like Ian._ _ _ _


End file.
